I'm on that like soy sauce on rice
Do you ever look at a vegetable and think "that would be awesome to shove up my vagina"?
Was just grinding with my bio TA. She asked why i wasnt studying
He was wearing a Knicks jersey I had to go home with him. it was a rough season.
No joke. Last we saw of him he was naked and dragging that stupid goat into the bushes.
he's measuring my pool to see how much jello powder he needs. He got paid today.
Just think. Tomorrow you'll wake up, shower, and get your brains fucked out. That's your ice cream. Today is your peas and carrots.
I told him we couldn't hang out because I had strep, he said he's had it once so he couldn't get it again. The sex isn't worth this level of stupidity
But don't worry I didn't actually get stitches, although according to the health center I probably should have
This guy just told me he wanted to bathe in bong water with me and then tried to lick my nipple through my bra. This could be love.
I borrowed a glass of wine. And the bottle. Your cat said it was ok
We're gonna start a pole dancing competition or a bar fight. Stand by for results.
you know you're doing something right when your drug dealer insists on hugging you before you leave.
Do NOT. I repeat. DO NOT call me little one after we have fucked. In no world is that ok. Even jesus agrees.
So I'm buying milk, bread, yogurt & lube. Not awkward at all
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