It's just you. You wear the fuck me fedora and wear baller shorts, hollywood hippie who thinks she is shakira when she's drunk.
They only remember me when they're drunk...I'm like a suppressed memory.
we all know badassery is carried on the XX chromosome
Dude, all I remember was you grabbing random girls, yelling "It's a rap video!" and pouring high-life on them.
Let me shower first- i smell like sex and rock climbing (not so sure how that happened)
Dating Detox Day 5: had to go out and buy new batteries. this may be harder than I thought
Remember that time i gave you head on MY birthday and you made me stop so you could watch the rhino part in 300
i think you lost all your innocence when you were caught straddling a fence in your thong & cowboy boots by the 40 year old apartment manager
Got high again and all I want to do is wave this flag around
Also I've come to learn that "type" and "fetish" are different things. Apologies for earlier confusion.
Am I under any obligation to let my new fuck buddy know I slept with his little sister?
I did a line of coke with my ex tonight. Talk about memories
First. I had the strength. Now. I am the death.
Mom is so high she had to turn off the ceiling fan because it was going too fast and it freaked her out.
I think he was trying to be romantic, but the candle he had lit was the kind you use to repel mosquitoes..
Randomize
