thus making me awesome and them whores
Can you send me a pic of you vag, I'm sexting the guy and he wants a pic but I didnt shave
dude are you serious?
I know you already have a pic on your phone
This just in: Jon Gosselin's address-The Alexandra. I bet if we showed up he'd date us.
His facebook status is an owl city song. I'm so glad i didn't end up fucking him.
I guess we had a small kitchen fire somehow when we decided to bake fruitroll ups and croutons...
He asked me If i had cheated on my boyfriend when I said no he said it's like he doesnt know me anymore
I can't even use my hands i'm so hungover
just got booed by the entire restaurant.
I'll throw in a blow job for your kind ways. Or another booty call. I'm poor and not very imaginative. This is all I have to offer- the unicorn like wonders of my vagina.
Drinking gin at a party, riding a giant inflatable walrus all around the living room.
I'm helping my Mormon ex boyfriend from high school embrace his inner cross dresser. This is truly god's work.
I bought left over pizza from a guy on Craigslist.
I come from a long history of big boobed German, Swedish, and Irish women. And then there's me. Mother nature was like "Naaaaaaah."
Tell me why i'm looking through my medical records and the last thing it said about my labor was 'vagina was explored'!?
lord you gonna make me abandon my soup for tasteful catboy nudes
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