he looked like jesus. just the kind of jesus i would have sex with.
His foreplay reminded me too much of breastfeeding.
Don't blame the cocaine for your eating disorder.
He came into the hospital yelling "HEY EVERYBODY! REMEMBER ME?"
I'm pretty sure we got the cab driver deported
Tranny group. Dance off. Horse hair and dicks swinging. I. Cant. Unsee. This.
only thing in my fruit bowl is 4 champagne corks and a jenga piece . Tuesday.
My vag is like the Sahara
Ew that's gross.
The sad truth. Barren and empty.
I woke up naked to an alarm set for 11:18 pm and missing a shoe. How was your night?
CURRENTLY PLAYING FLIP CUP WITH A WORLD SERIES CHAMPION
I was the only one in group sessions to bring up sex as a stress reliever. Some of those people were awfully judgy despite the fact we were all in a psych ward.
Is it acceptable to pay for WiFi on flights solely for the purpose of getting on Tinder to find a sugar daddy on the plane that doesn’t mind upgrading me to first class?
Do it. You’re flying for two weddings. You’re gonna need that first class.
It's a shame, really, because he's got the cock of a horse... And the personality of dry toast.
He made me ask permission to to cum and it made me cum.
After he finished, he fell on the floor and whispered "finally satisfied"
Randomize
