On a scale of affliction to ed hardy, how douchy is in there right now?
loyola was giving a tour this morning and they all saw me in a half ripped off toga throwing up over the side of the dorm stairs
you don't even go to loyola anymore
Dude, she DOES look like she'd give good head. No bottom jaw, I checked.
An ex-gang member just asked me out on a date via note. And spelled dinner wrong. Win?
Ah, I knew it wouldn't be long before my boobs were introduced into the conversation.
his phone is always ringing though. It makes me feel like I'm dating a doctor who's always on call.
yeah, dating a doctor sounds much better than fucking your drug dealer.
Fantastic. I'm pretty cold, tired, dirty, and hungry, but that comes with an adventurous weekend. Who needs a wallet or keys anyway? I could totally be homeless.
Come to the roof. We are drinking breakfast.
fucked a girl in Bentley hall at ten tonight, came on the carpet and I plan on doing it in another building soon. Watch where you walk
But the sex is so much better when he already has a girlfriend
So I couldn't find Leif..... He fell asleep in our closet upstairs trying to get changed into warmer clothes
Puked in the trash can. Took a bite of someone's breadstick and kept dancing and drinking
He was 6'8" - I shit you not! He sat up in my bed and the ceiling fan got him right in the forehead.
I had sex with two guys in one day. One on my grandma's couch, one on a golf course. This is the greatest post-surgery accomplishment I could ask for.
I have no idea what happened last night but I sobered up whilst showering with a mop.
Randomize
