Hey it's Austin.
I am not drunk enough for this conversation.
no homo or anything but the way you were dancing with that girl gave me a boner
In the middle of blowin me she stoppped and told me how easy it would be to insert a catheter ..... Apparently she was a nursing major
Sorry if I'm being weird. I'm dipping doritos in cabernet.
I just dont understand why you didnt cut me off when I took the funnel into the bathroom and started peeing and funneling at the same time
She told me my dick looked like a baby seal wrapped in a sleeping bag.
Why is everyone else growing up when I'm just crying, eating, and having pregnancy scares?
Are we really going to sext in Pokemon battle fashion?
It's simple. He fucks me at his place and I fuck him at my place. It's like man of the house gets to top.
I don't know man. I fell outside Pizza Hut and an employee had to perform first aid. But I think I got free pizza. So it was worth it.
All my female reproductive organs were screaming HELL YES last night.
YOUUUU FUCKING FURRYYYY
I DIDN'T COME HERE TO BE SLANDERED LIKE THIS
I'm going to force her to break up with me this week. Tonight I plan to shit the bed. If that doesn't work I'm not sure what's next.
Remember, I smoked so you wouldn't have to. I'm like the Jesus of Marijuana.
You threw up everything but your ovaries.
Randomize
