I boned her and wore a Freddy mask once. It was pretty lol
I think I just broke my ankle. I've only had one beer. I'm getting drunk before I go to the ER so it's less embarassing.
Forgot to mention...Pamela Anderson has HPV, so i feel like im in good company
I think I slept in the cheesecake last night. Either that or I had a wet dream. Whatever happened I need to wash my pants.
we are out of drugs. and patience. please bring former.
my mom went out and bought me new sheets and redecorated my room. its like she's more excited for me to get laid tomorrow for the first time in two months than I am.
he was inside of, then got up said "we don't want you having a baby," grabbed his car keys and left. so now i'm just sitting on his bed, wondering if he's coming back.
Lying naked in bed eating carrot cake of off my bare breasts while watching Family Guy. Tonsilitis isn't all bad!
Getting drunk in an Applebee's pray for me
Lord god protect this child
Bring me that man meat
…wtf were in those pills mom gave me
Like I said, all hypothetical...unless, of course, you'd be into that. My heart may skip a beat.
Whatever he got a sick blow job and his high school fantasy was fulfilled
And that's what dreams are made of
*hilary duff crying in the background*
I'm not saying i'm drunk
But i'm drunk.
She tied me to her bed using her honor chords. Thank god for graduation!
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