apparently i peed in my fridge last night because my vegetable drawer was filled with it.
Just set a new record on Need For Speed at the arcade. Had to enter Tiger Woods as the name.
He came and then made the Jim Halpert face. does that say disappointment or what
The only ground rules are no one is allowed to come who will say "no, that's a bad idea" or "what if we get arrested?"
I wish you would always start your sentences with "speaking of my clit..."
Calling yourself a modern day Geisha doesn't justify being a whore.
Tell your boyfriend I'm sorry for ruining his vein. I'm never drawing blood drunk again.
Please get rnbert tn get chebk h'm in i'm no dead when he getr gome
Hhahaha he is. Omg the new polish friend just took his pants off in front of me. There is something wrong with this nationality.
the parents are super pissed...made eye contact with the mom while going down on another girl
I just don't fit in here. The other wives are ten years older and have kids!
Well, you chose trophy wife of a 35 year old over college. Sit in your suburban soup and stew.
They're fucking on the bed next to me. I took adderall and smoked so there's no fucking help for me.
Today is my 3 year wedding anniversary...and I've seen three different dicks.
Taking care of drunk people fulfills my need to be a mother
It's hard to talk dirty with a mouth full of peanut butter
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