It was confusing and full of hummus
I went outside for a smoke at 4 and things seemed normal. It's 6 now and the front lawn is COVERED in tortilla chips. WTF?
oh no, im for sure still drunk. i wana eat evrything in the fancy feast commercial... everything
NASCAR RACE 2010 NO REGRETZZZ!!!
It is literally 8 in the morning.
We had phone sex and he came in his sink. i will never eat off one of his plates again
Just got tipped $5 for distracting some dude's gf while he got another girl's number. Bro-code at its finest.
I threw up in the shower, slipped, and fell in it. Should I try and continue my day or just get back in bed?
I don't care how fucking drunk you are, you don't forget wanting to shove a wine bottle up someone's ass.
So help my penis see only you. Give him some attention as well.
It took me half an hour to realize I didnt know them
I've gotten 2 singers numbers, a 6'5 dude has promised to take me to Oktoberfest, and I spent the night w a pilot named Zeus who looks like caramel tastes. Also I sprained my thumb punching some guy I named 'hater'. I love Nashville
He sent me a picture of Reese's peanut butter cups next to his dick. Of course I went over.
Come get your boyfriend. He is hammered talking to me about hot dogs and casinos.
I woke up next to him with nothing on and my thong around his neck. I just put my clothes on and left, but he still has my thong.
So what if is hockey, you don’t turn down sex with a professional athlete. They work out all day and have amazing stamina. Your vagina will thank you!
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