what if every blade of grass was a penis?
dude skip the party. it is a fucking post office here
what the hell does that mean?
nothing good but a whole lotta male and packages
i just realized why god gave us younger siblings....to DD for us when we come home for the summers
I feel like now would be a good time to apologize for vomiting in your eye
There are so many Jimmy John's employees here
Where are you?
Jimmy John's.
You then showed up downstairs in only a robe, telling everyone how you were "the most chivalristic fratstar ever."
I immediately retract my statement involving hylecopters being allowed to blow up sharks out of the water.... The idea if it is super incredible but ultimately it would be cruel and unessesary
i just realized I haven't been laid all summer. So sad. What a waste of a perfectly good vagina.
She looked so much better when u didn't look at her and the music was too loud to hear her
I mean, we were all drinking, but I'm pretty sure kidnapping came up.
We broke my graduation cords last night when we used them to tie each other up during sex last night
Your Vodka Saturday privileges have been reduced to Beer until you go a full month without losing an article of clothing.
I've never seen anyone as high as you were.. you collapsed onto the kitchen floor hugging a tub of ice cream. You named it phil.
Don't get mad at me now, you have my car and all the doughnuts
You’ve seen my tits of course he broke his wedding vows
Randomize
