Haha I wonder if my burp offended him. So I gave him a fist pump to signify how friendly I am
you flashed the cab driver so we didn't have to pay the fare and then you decided you were on a roll so you flashed the guy at the maccas drive through... safe to say your boob job was the best idea ever!!
Next thing I know we're all standing in the kitchen holding hands and thanking God for the beer.
Just saw a cop give four blondes gas for their car on their way to Vegas. They seriously ran out of gas and called 911 about it. Its like a porno plot.
Dong worry about me. I just cashed bottle of wine when I found out he was in town, I'm being dramatic. I'll text you tomorrow when I'm sober and my face stops bleeding
Hillary is trying to make pickle pops with vodka and sell them to kids at the ball park.
he told me he could still feel the blowjob i gave him last year
wow. THAT good huh
can anyone on this campus do anything sober?
She was trying to drink out of the beer bong and she thought it didn't work. Little did she know there was no beer in there. Then she got mad at us. Girls.
Still at home. Videotaping hamsters.
I woke up and my backpack was empty. He used me for sex, and back to school supplies.
Nothing says Happy Holidays like sending a picture of your ass to the wrong manager.
I don't think Buddha would recommend a sexscpade across Mexico
We were on the beach when you spilled sand in the bottle and said "relax it's vodka, it'll disinfect itself"
The best walk of shames are on the highway
Randomize
