Chicken burrito, or no deal.
Is that code for my vagina?
Who the fuck has ever referred to a vagina as a chicken burrito
I'm pretty sure he came before I knew he was inside me.. Didn't think that was his plan when he said he was gonna do things I've never experienced before
I got a black eye last night. This guy said for every 35 pounds you lose you gain an inch to your dick. I asked him how long he has been peeing sitting down.
you handed the cop a condom last night and said "it's all about protect and serve right?"
he gave me a new purse full of weed and five boxes of samoas for my birthday. best boyfriend ever.
do you really not remember him getting up at like 4am with a leaf blower running through the house and telling people to "WAKE THE FUCK UPPP"
I cant be sure, but i think ive been drunk in this church before.
I think it's god's punishment for my behavior in Vegas . Lies were told. Angels were defiled. Pools were pissed in
I just stole some rubbers from the girl I stayed with last night so I can use them on a different girl today..
My vagina feels like it's been kissed by angels.
We just broke my bed mid-sex, laughed, then continued. If that isn't true love I don't know what is.
Doing laundry. My jeans from last night smell like chicken wings and motor oil.
Yeah last night got weird fast. No lie, a kid pulled a butt-plug with a tail out of his ass.
I let a 30 year old guitar player that works at a call center go down on me in his backseat last night
I didn't really break out of the friend zone, as much as I blasted the doors off with high explosives and rode through on a grizzly bear...
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