Dude WTF? His teammate just started talkin to me on fb! Am I walking around with a "I like to f**k gators" on my forehead?
No, it just says ur easy
i wonder what thom yorke's orgasms sound like
now there's a facebook group for all the people whose lives i've ruined
So I woke up today with someone's door knob in my pocket. I hope everbody else got out of the house ok.
the size of his penis is telling me NOOO! but his bank account is telling me YESSS!
That's what happens when you park you car under a perfectly good balchony I can puke off of
I just reenacted what a cuntadactyl would act like by putting straws in my mouth as teeth and roaring, Plz come get me.
i will be blacked out in the shower. come get me. 20 mins.
Just had flashback to me showering u with stir fry as u rythed on the floor
She said pants are for pussies while spooning peanut butter onto her frosted flakes with a serving spoon. She's not even high yet.
He was walking around and kept offering the neighbors flamingo lawn ornaments shots of vodka.
My mum just told me to stop being so pathetic and just find someone to have sex with, even if I don't like them, just be grateful for the sex. Wow.
Hey I had a great night last night but I don't want to lie to you I'm only 19 and that wasn't my place its was my cousin he's gone for the summer and I was just house sitting and watching his cat I'm sorry
We are bad people. This is why we are friends. <3
He thought it would be sexy if he found my clothes and dressed me, and it was..until he found a thong under his bed and assumed it was mine. It wasn't
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