does it bother you that i swallowed like millions of your unborn children
actually, i try not to think about it
and i pooped them out
i need you to recap everything for me beyond "i think i'm gonna try vodka-pong"
So gin and wine won't be happening again
Just woke up. My philosophy paper is a play, and my paper for musical theater is about physics. That's some dank shit you sold me
Missing a small section of hand. Hope your night is going better
i dont even mind you always shaving my pubes when i pass out, i'm starting to find it liberating.
I think i lit a firework with a joint. happy birthday, america?
Somewhere between yelling how am I gonna make it to my flight and more titie shots I stopped caring
Partial kegs from last night are currently in my bathtub, which leads me to 2 questions: 1. What are you doing tonight? 2. Can I use your shower?
I had to show the prof your text saying that I could pick up your midterm for you. I covered the part of the screen saying you weren't there because you were about to have morning choke sex.
We got drunk and crashed a fifty year old woman's birthday party for the food. Whoops.
Great news. I WILL BE FUCKING IN A BOUNCY HOUSE TOMORROW.
Dealing with people is so much easier after you've had an orgasm or 4.
we went book shopping, so yes this relationship is going to be about more than sex
Woke up next to my vibrator and a recipe for fudge brownies. If that doesn't scream I NEED TO GET LAID, then I don't know what else could.
Randomize
