Do you need to be saved?
No I think I'm God
I woke up this morning to 4 booty call texts. So i am trying to find the sign that says i like to sit on cocks so that i can take it off.
trust me, i wonder where that sign is on a daily basis.
He wouldnt get hard, then started talking about his ex wife. I literally rolled over and started to cry
can i drink enough to forget this semester even happened?
Ive been using palmolive to shower with for he last week, dont tell me about not having money. Im heading to the bar r u going.
I've only been home four days and my parents' cleaning lady already wrote down the number to AA and told me she's praying for me.
I want him in the "you're a terrible idea and are probably going to get me killed by my parents, my siblings, and my boyfriend" way
Liquid roulette time! Black Mystery Cups are filled with either ipecac, whiskey, or NyQuil. Let's have fun
Would I chase a raccoon with a flaming stick sober?
WE HAD GREAT SEX AND I HATE MYSELF FOR IT
Then James put his arms through the window and grabbed him, like he was Robocop. A nerdy, portly Robocop.
Who is this?
He asked when the last time I had sex was. I had to look at the clock and respond "12 hours ago"
andy told me i got kicked out of the bar and was so drunk i forgot and got back in line. the bouncer was zero impressed
I guess it's too forward to greet him with a blow job?
Periods are much less exciting when you're not sexually active.
Randomize
