The only thing I want to hear out of a girl's mouth tonight is, "slurp".
normal stoners make pot brownies. gay stoners make pot chocolate covered cherries on a cinnamon graham cracker crust which by the way are very effective.
so I was like, you know platform 9 3/4? I know something else with those measurements. best. pick up line. ever.
Im about to have a threesome, Ill pay you twenty bucks to go clean my room. Just throw it all in the closet.
idk but i have you stored in my phone as 'guy with beard doing body shots'
You missed out on a serious adventure. Cops were called. We put a chicken in someones house.
I swear to god, allah, buddah and motherfucking oprah winfrey... if I have to stay here any longer because you are holding us up I will choke you out.
I literally just smashed open my grade school piggy bank for beer money. Goodbye childhood. Hellllllo coin night.
She just asked what would happen if you put a vacuum in your butt and turned it on. These are our conversations.
Yep. My memoirs will be called "A Slore Worth Mentioning"
You hit a new plane of existence as we all watched in awe
Remember Christopher who always sends me pictures of his penis? Look to your right, boy in the blue.
Lets just say I tried to pinky promise the cop... So I was fucked up.
he drove over two hours to fuck me and came in 3 minutes. he got mad when I asked him if it was worth it...
I informed him that we had less than 5 minutes left to live, and his first words were "I'm trying to think of a good They Might Be Giants quip"
Randomize
