As im putting my laundry in the machine, i find a solo cup and a pong ball that i signed babe ruth
I don't know if this beer pong partnership can last if you refuse to look me in the eye when we make sweet sweet clutch cup at the same time.
The difference between what I would do for a regular Klondike bar and an Oreo flavored Klondike bar is astounding
Slipping me an edible before my ochem final was not your brightest idea. Looks like I'm switching to business.
In 30 minutes I will have been sober for an entire month. Time for a celebratory lap of cheap alcohol that leads to early liver failure.
But happy liver failure. That's what counts.
do you think they make 'sorry for walking in on you drunkenly jacking of to a picture of me' cards?
She almost killed me. The shot she handed me had tacks in it. Wtf?!
You were carrying a 6 ft lamp that we stole on your back yelling "OHANA MEANS FAMILY AND FAMILY MEANS NOBODY GETS LEFT BEHIND"
Also, what day were you thinkin we should trip balls at the children's museum?
Don't tell me I can do whatever makes me happy while also saying I have to put on pants.
I just chased my birth control with Smirnoff. Shit's about to go down.
I promised her before I left that I'd make good choices and then got drunk and fucked my best friend and her boyfriend.
There is an episode of "how it's made" on tv right now. The subject is tequila and water beds. Basically my life.
I have to lie to someone and move five gallons of fermenting alcohol across campus but after that i'll hit you up 4 sho
Yup we found her. The bouncer was carrying her out
Randomize
