They threw me out of the bar because I was arguing business ethics with the owner of th bar
can someone explain to me why i woke up under a twister sheet
The bartender let me pay my bar tab with my itunes giftcards.
Went to use to bathroom and walked in on karaoke. Two girls singing "a whole new world" to each other in the shower. I'm gonna miss this place in the summer
Sketchest drug deal yet.... I just got paid in quarters and chucky chesse tokens. I need to stop hooking my friends up.
Just for future reference: milk is NOT a good mixer no matter how drunk you are.
It's ok. Rob's just shotgunning upside down.
There are so many Jimmy John's employees here
Where are you?
Jimmy John's.
I have fruit by the foot roll-ups. I wonder if a man could tie them together and make an editable bra....
he was inside of, then got up said "we don't want you having a baby," grabbed his car keys and left. so now i'm just sitting on his bed, wondering if he's coming back.
Life Goals: never under any circumstances, pee in an elevator again. No matter how drunk
I have fuck me eyes 4/5 people agree. It's like doctors or dentists but with ppl who have lots of sex and know these things.
It hurts to hear and I can smell shapes.
That's why my boobs are so big, they're full of secrets.
Your Saturday night was spent at the opera, mine was spent exchanging naked pics with a hot middle aged man that is so ripped that he looks like he's photoshopped. This is why we're blood sisters. We balance each other out.
I hate you so hard.
Randomize
