mmm... i enjoy making beautiful women smile
that's why i date skinny girls, they don't realize how small it is.
letting you know, as a good neighbor, that when your windows open and your shade is up we can hear and see you dancing naked to money maker... nice boobs
Sorry for punching you in the face last night. I should have known the boxing gloves were a bad idea from the start.
the ceiling is raining jello shotss
If it's any consolation, your boobs looked awesome.
Drug-sniffing dog walked past me and my suitcase in the train station. My opinion: they need a new dog
He went 'unicorn hunting' and lost a fight with a fence. That's how he ended up in the ER.
I was high last night eating a fudge bar and making eggs with toast and corned beef hash for a 2 am snack and my dad asked what I was and the only reply I could think of was "I'm an adult."
I don't know if I'm feeling really nervous right now or just extremely horny.
Turns out I hooked up with a chick who has lupus. I don't know if that's a bucket list thing or not, but it's now on mine. Check.
Oh yeah I remember when I first saw Kyler's balls. If there's anything high school swim prepared me for, it's the amount of testicles I would see here
God gave me a talent besides one night stands. I feel like I should use it
totally just stole a 24 pack straight out of the miller truck
all I remember is them saying he had a big dick and the next thing I know I’m leaving with him
Randomize
