I served up a girl her first a2m the other day. You would have been proud.
Come home. Power Hour by yourself is only fun for the first 10 minutes.
just because you dressed up as a brontosaurus doesn't mean you can poop in my yard and roar at my neighbors
Hulk Hogan has now convinced 2 women to marry him & I have yet to have a successful or healthy relationship. I am officially depressed.
I'm cheering for the colts this year. I basically have to since my fake says i'm from indianapolis
just threw up on dog. broke microwave with cheese and spoon. having a bath with my barbies singing final countdown.
before you ask yes i found the absinthe under your bed. ITS THE FINAL COUNTDOWWWWNNNNNN
thanks. im glad you find me better in your comparison between me and fat girl porn.
noooo, I woke up on his pack porch and the SUN WAS RISING. I saw red lights everywhere and heard sirens so I just ran for my life.
I don't think we had sex because when I woke up he was still wearing the chicken suit.
Passing out on a toilet is not classy no matter what you're wearing. Not even a pea coat.
i was enjoying my post acid trip trance a little too much. i found $50 on the sidewalk but didnt pick it up. just stared at the bill cuz it looked cool.
someone picked it up and i stared at the ground where it was for probably another minute or 2
Might I also add after my boss threw up in the garbage can and yelled puking rally, he dougied, then told me I wasn't about that life.
Listen you let me know what you're doing after drinking rum punch all morning
I'm not gonna lie. The thing I miss the most about him right now is the air conditioned hotel rooms.
Drunk man just fell out of said wheelchair
Randomize
