Hey welcome to Rick's drunk text tree. Rick is drunk right now please respond with "shut up" to remove your name from this list. Thanks for playing.
You should get a handy in the street again, just to prove you've still got it.
Now he's galloping around the bar. I don't know whether to laugh or cry.
You were basically naked. Just covered in pink duck tape and feathers. I'd have to say this is beyond the slutty mark..
Just warning you now f you do not get intoxicated with me in front of the family on thanksgiving we are not related.
All I know is that I'm not gonna send out SOS messages via twitter for your rescue this time.
Well according to all the calls, texts, and Facebook messages, I threw up on you guys last night.
In an unrelated matter, im gonna eat you out so much later.
Maybe they'll dismiss me from jury duty after they smell beer on me. You can't keep me in a cage and then give me an hour and a half long lunch break next to a beer fest and expect sobriety.
Who wakes up at 9 and says "let me send a pic of my dick to my ex gf"
HE MIGHT HAVE YOUR BUTTHOLE, BUT HE CANT HAVE YOUR HEART. THATS MINE.
I had mediocre parking lot sex last night so the night wasn't a complete bust.
He said he doesn't "believe" in cuddling. Can you come get me?
Also my roomates are going to be gone till sunday. Make correct decision here
Quit calling your parents your roomates
No no. Thank you. Killed multiple birds with one penis.
Randomize
