You should've come with us, we're at Home Depot looking for men.
"Worlds Wildest Videos" should be called "Crazy White People"
honey bunches of taint.
I've walk of shamed through this apartment complex so many times, I think people think I live here.
he just looked at me and whispered "these are my sea lions. my sea lions." and then went back to licking the mirror
The doctor said 'youre the 2nd youngest person that ive seen with this condition. Thats probably not the silver medal you were looking for today.'
He tricked me into going on a double date with him, I don't like that he's not using me for just sex anymore
Yeah...I know. It's cute I think...I mean cute in a weird like hey I kinda took you home from the bar one night, maybe criticized your penis, and fucked your brains out...kinda sorta way
He tells me he loves me and I say I just want him for sex, then he looks at me like I just said I hate puppies. What kind of guy is he?
DOWN HORMONES. BACK.
In this town being related to a brewing family or the owner of a sports team is like being royalty. It's like hooking up with the queen's nephew or something.
I could definitely fill a shot glass w my cum
please don't
It's days like today, when my bra and underwear match, that make me feel like I'm getting my life together...
woke up to my little sister's best-friend's boyfriend in my bed, but how's your saturday going?
She squirted. We were both surprised. I'm that good.
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