how soon is too soon after the break-up to ask for my condoms back?
So what if i'm late to spanish tomorrow. who the hell cares. i don't even speak spanish.
went to library to start paper due tomorrow & took those orange addys u gave. now realizing they were ur xanax. completely fucked and going to fail, but calmly at peace with the situation.
Her underwear doesnt even match. If youre going to be a face book whore at least have matching shit.
Just threw up off a chairlift. my life is now complete.
This guy just showed us his webbed feet to prove that his son was actually his son
All the alcohol I spilled on myself must have acted as a disinfectant or something. I haven't showered in three days and I still don't have a staph infection from sleeping on the lawn with you.
I couldn't drown my sorrows in an ocean of jack daniels. They may have scuba gear.
He added his name to my To Do list. That's the way to my Type A heart.
Have fun in Vegas! Be safe, use condoms, and take a pic of Jon beforehand to give out when he goes missing. It will help the police.
we went to go get waffles and then i sucked his dick in a parking lot. average tuesday.
He lit a shoe on fire and tried putting it out by peeing on it
He's tiny, but ripped. Like a stacked hobbit. He's going to pull our sexy, crime-fighting rickshaw.
I just don't think it's that outlandish to ask that I don't get messages from my husband at 8:30pm on a Wednesday telling me he peed on our cat
who knew being a fake dominatrix could be so fun?
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