So guess who had sex in a Ghostbusters sleeping bag.
I dont think he was a real cab driver. I think he was just a creepy guy with a van.
Look dude, you cant keep blaming everything on the new years party. Its february...
Hope your thanksgiving is a complete blowjob festival.
I've been timing it. He's been showering alone for 33 minutes. 4 minutes ago, he said "truth or dare." haven't heard anything since.
I had to explain to my dentist that my tooth was chipped because we designated my mouth as the official way to open beer. I feel like our level of partying is no longer socially acceptable.
He drank his beer out of his own shoe. Its his "party trick"
Let's just says his mouth writes a lot of checks that his penis just can't cash. Don't waste your time.
I just sneezed and margarita mix and ash came out of my nose. I love jersey
I just wanna get drunk in a castle. Is that so much to ask?
This bar smells like your ball sack. In a weird way I miss you.
I should know better than to open your texts at the grocery store
Is it okay that we fucked on my car hood, in his driveway, at 4 am with cars passing by ?
The next morning I found her spread eagle asleep on the living room floor and he was asleep with his head in her crotch. I needed a ride and had to wake them up.
I'd give my right arm to start my period. My right arm. Thats more significant then my left.
Randomize
