After last night I still want u
But please keep that on the DL
summer is not the time to consider going full bush.
I am so fucking pissed, there are no Shamwows in the As Seen on TV Store.
Looks like you'll have to stick to jizzing in socks.
Have you ever looked at the 750mL bottle of wine on the seat next to you knowing that it's just not going to be enough?
Each and every day.
Whatever, she only has 293 friends, she cant afford to be defriending me..
I swear he shrunk like 2 inches. Remind me that drunk sex needs to remain drunk sex.
At least I wasn't still dressed as a bottle of dom perignon when they took me to the ER
Ja rule starts his prison sentence today #3475th reason we should drink tonight
i can't understand anything he's saying. But he spells alcohol right everytime so i deciphered it.
Only thig bad about that muscular chick from the gym is she liked it so rough I had to bust out a few wrestling moves from highschool
Grindr hookup awareness: always make sure that you agree to blow one person and they aren't bringing a Friend/boyfriend. Shits weird when you're sober.
I don't know what she looks like but I'm pretty sure she has a pussy.
At least you didn't sleep with Ashley's uncle.
His mom showed up at my doorstep, begging me to take him back for him
Where do you find these people?
I think my life is a one-way ticket to blackout city.
Randomize
