I just sold a pizza for the ability to listen to spice girls.
I just spent a chunk of my Christmas money on Plan B. I don't think that's what my relatives had mind when they said "spend it wisely", but hey, it was a good investment considering the bad life choices i made last night.
I don't even want to think what you did to boys being that drunk and horny.
Then I wouldn't suggest looking at the pictures from last night.
K. On the way. I need a drink.
Like a drink drink or like water?
Have we met?
I bruised my spine.. Jungle gyms were clearly not meant for sex.
They called it unicorn pee, and i thought that was interesting so i drank it. Please don't let me drink strangers booze again.
I just won a riveting game of "who can drink the most vodka out of a hollowed out watermelon". Fucking New Yorkers.
DOUBLE NIPPLE PIERCINGS ARE HORRIFYING
I woke up with Pop Rocks stuck to my ass
This guy on the tube is sooooooo high. Eyes are bloodshot and he's licking his headphone cords.
I'm really glad I had vomit on my sweater when I met his sister.
I don't know what you're doing this morning, but obtaining Plan B is my number-one priority.
We fucked. Had a political debate. I won. So I sat on his face.
Dude, you screamed I AM THE WALRUS while giving a statue of Ronald McCdonald a lapdance. You were NOT sober.
did i tell you guys i finally 69’d for the first time last night? just thought the group chat should know.
Randomize
