I just pooped in his toilet and didn't flush...I desperately need to get him past the girls don't poop phase.
she named each of the players on the last ten madden covers in order and then shotgunned 2 beers...if she doesnt have a penis im in love
NEVERCLEAR, NEVER AGAIN.
yeah, we figured out that passing a joint between cars was a pretty bad idea
The last thing I remember is pushing my way into the bathroom and dumping a 40 on him. We havent talked since.
We are cuddling. She is so cute when she is too high to be a loud bitch.
Also I think he would slowly, painfully, die. You really can't live without a penis. You'd explode.
5am update: in a toga seeing triple made out with both sexes
We need a bunch of roses, some chocolate, 2 cops, a mariachi band, and a thermometer
I lost my vibrator temporarily and for some unknown reason my first thought was that you might have stolen it. But then I realized you would never do that because you know it keeps me from killing people. But I am overtired and lacking in faith.
Only real friends lend their restraints to engagedfriends to fool around with married strangers.
Meeting up with one of your students at your drug dealers house is always an awkward moment
These tits shall not be calmed
Grandma cant send me 4 lbs of gummi bears and expect me not to soak them in some sort of alcohol
I kept yelling "BY ORDER OF THE PEAKY FUCKING BLINDERS" in a terrible brummie accent at everyone I saw wearing a flatcap.
Randomize
