you kept yelling something about watching the muppets chirstmas carol and trying to turn the t.v. on with your car keys
I'm so excited for this wedding, I feel like a school girl about to get finger launched on the dance floor at the sadie hawkins dance
Well on the bright side, I only need a sophomore to complete the fuck-a-guy-from-every-year-challenge.
using the campers leftover pizza money at the bar. Definition of great counselors right here.
You convinced her to break up with her boyfriend, made out with her all night, got her to buy us all shots then went home with a different girl...
That explains the "i hate you" text. But the facebook deletion is a bit harsh
All I know is....there's beer in my camera. How do I know? Because I can pick up my camera,shake it and HEAR, the beer in it
DAMMIT. BOHEMIAN RHAPSODY IS GONNA GET STUCK IN MY HEAD AGAIN. FUCK YOU OLYMPICS.
Wow i don't think I've had to send this many texts apologizing for my behavior since high school...
I guess I was blacked out I hopped a fence and hugged a cow that night.
I know I've become a responsible adult because this time, I'm not going to do the drugs I found on the ground
You also spilled beer on my dog and tried to wipe it off with a paper towel but he kept getting away from you.
Btw I did not technically have a dick in me but I was naked in bed with a man during the last finals game so that is why the Warriors won
Yea and there’s destruction when we’re together, mostly of our livers but W/e
Just landed in Atlanta. Still drunk. I can't feel my face
Its pretty bad when you can tell twins apart by the size of their penises...
Randomize
