You were wearing a sombrero. And a crown. And told me to use the nerf gun to protect your room from the cat. You don't have a cat.
My bracket is officially just a list of teams that lost.
i dont know what to do
with your life?
no, with my silly bandz, im already wearing 3
So just to get a feel for things...how prone are you to male Amish strippers...
No it was the best sex I've had in months. Nothing turns me on more than getting rid of a boyfriend.
Yes. Be the home wrecker you've always dreamed of being.
I woke up with her dog licking the wedding cake out of my ear and her sister finishing our Jaeger
If we can't get laid at a bar crawl, we should just quit life.
I thought my dog was a polar bear. I kept asking how the north pole was this time of year.
Just made a beer run. At 9am. In my pjs. I should not be graduating today
You peed on a pole and declared to a cop that it was your pole and yelled at him to not even look at it, and then yelled at all of us for looking at it.
I just can't do Wednesdays sober anymore
I can't tell if you're talking about my pussy or Cape Cod.
He tried to kiss me in the middle of hooking up... it was a deal breaker. I got off him and left.
So making out with chicks at the bar is fine and dandy, but your booty call can't kiss you? You have the strangest fucking rules...
You kept on yelling traitor and threatened to kill him and everyone he loves because he played beerpong with someone else
Randomize
