all i know is that they all tuched my pee cup last night.
he cracked the bottle of jager at 11am and said "hey, its Saturday and I gotta do something"
he yelled 'rock me amadeus!' when he came
i love that song!
NOT THE POINT
I bruised my spine.. Jungle gyms were clearly not meant for sex.
We should invent fake asshair for you to wear so you can experience my pain for a day.
Called my dealer in tears and we talked for an hour until I felt better. That's the way it should be.
Just took an adderall with a shot of tequila while doing my makeup in the parking lot at work before I go in. I'm also late. They're so lucky to have me.
I have nothing to lose. And a bunch of dick to gain.
If I pissed all over some chicks bed I would probably apologize for getting so wasted, not putting out, and turning into a god damn R. Kelly Cinderella... Not ask for coffee and a ride home.
I've noticed we have slowly begun to phase the "B" out of our Bromance.
I felt really bad for not letting her go in, it was like we were dangling lesbians in front of her
Just because I stayed up all night betting on Australian Horse Racing doesn't mean I have a gambling program.
I'm eating year old chocolate from the trash can. It was in a ziploc bag but still, this is a new low. Help me.
I swear to god, no guy has been as interested in sticking stuff up my butt as this girl
I swear to god, if you ever yell my name during sex with my sister again..your balls will be stapled to your nipples.
Randomize
