i saw a guy balancing a black cat on his head last nite
get a pic
i tried he was too far away anotherguy was walking with paper bags on his feet explain that
i want ur life
so then she threw up in his asshole
yep..that'll do it.
I just realized that "Hey girl, when you gonna let me tap that?" is in iambic pentameter. I'm going to write a poem...
No i dont need Magnum Condoms, that would be like putting MC Hammer pants on my dick
It never fails.. every time I have a dick in my mouth he calls me.
I scrubbed the bathroom, smoked a bowl, and gave myself 3 orgasms. If the world ends today, I feel accomplished.
My nipple ring got caught on the rug again. Tequila makes me unlearn these things
Sneezing blood is a good thing right? Medically speaking.
I don't want to die alone with cake watching shows about cake
She's on her period. You don't know what fear is.
You're about wine.
Yes, I'm like 90% wine at the moment
He's a 30 yr old man who voluntarily goes by Stevie and his job title is "Jumbotron Operator". There's a 97.5% chance he lives in his mom's basement. STOP THIS NOW!!!
You know it’s going to be a rough day when you scream “Get fucked” at your alarm clock
Holy shit dude........stairs
Btw you guys passed out eating DP dough and watching Pocahontas... on a monday
it was stoner heaven..
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