Im watching he's just not that into you, eating way too much pizza, and feeling very single.
just bought miller high life, hungry man dinners, and a bottle of lube. you win life, you win.
Can you please check on Jay? He just called and left a Backstreet Boys song on my voicemail. Either it's 1998, or someone needs to go back to rehab.
I wish my dick could take responsibilities for his own actions
i would bitch about being this hungover, but honestly im just happy to be alive after this weekend
i think i had a heart attack, prayed, and jizzed my pants.all at once.
He's tryingto open a beer with a Police baton. Cut him off or see where this leads?
I need to figure out how to tell my doctor that I don't want to fix my possible fertility problems until AFTER I'm done whoring around in my 20s.
if things do not go as planned you should see me walking down I81 blindfolded and pantless
I need you to help me convince Steph that she will like Tequila if she would chase it with A-1
she asked me where ive been her entire life and the guy in the room next to us yelled "with other women bitch!"
Nursing home in NJ just got busted for prostitution and drugs...dropping off my deposit tomorrow
What I've learned from glowsticks: glowing things are not safe to eat
I still can't believe that dog licked my nipple.
we're tipping the strippers with chocolate coins.
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