I'm currently googling how to make a dress out of a trash bag. It's going to be a great night.
I don't think ill make it tonight the floor wont let me walk
sitting in class between the roommates of the two girls i fucked over break. this feels like a bad version of wife swap
And when I say "complete whore" I mean I could possibly make a shameful profit by wearing this.
I get credit on the assist, you can thank me by taking a pic of her ass under the covers and sending it to me. It would make my YEAR
He was very impressed that you could put your hair in a ponytail by yourself while throwing up.
it's not like i was drunk to the point of NEEDING help...i just wanted someone to offer to hold my hair or something.
Anything you tell me within three minutes of an orgasm isn't even being recorded in my head.
Who wrote "the chamber of secrets has been open, enemies of the heir beware" across my bathroom wall?
You know you're hung over when the glare from the cream cheese on your bagel is just too bright...
Blood everywhere...karaoke was nice
We were mid fuck, and he did a Kermit the Frog impression. Is it weird that I was strangely turned on?
When I came out of the bathroom you were naked dead asleep on the couch but your dick was still rock hard standing straight up. I almost took a pic. It was impressive.
The good thing about country bars is that the men generally look like men. The bad thing is the country music.
I did not get pleasing results from googling “Bob Ross goat”
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