Sorry I couldn't get my dick out
For some reason fuck navy didn't go over quite as well as say fuck michigan;
writing the newer testament. It's the 3rd for the series. I'll update u the rule changes later.
NEWS FLASH: A bottle of wine can fit into a taco bell cup.
Do you ever wonder how many people have prayed for you to be a better person?
I'm pretty sure I told everyone in the bar I hadn't had sex in five months. And then I offered everyone calamari.
I can hear my parents having sex. I REPEAT. I CAN HEAR MY PARENTS HAVING SEX! THIS IS NOT A DRILL!
Your mom is 55 and has MS. To be honest, I'm proud of her, and you should be too, bitch.
His roommates came in and started a dance party in his room while we were having sex. He said it wasnt the first time.
You work today? I woke up with a raging boner that was whispering your name
I'm looking at some sugar baby profiles to get some insight on what we're up against.
I'm in my bed. Snow angles in fresh sheets. don't even try to get me out tonight.
I'm sorry, the person you're trying to reach is WAYYY too high to deal with this right now.
I feel like I'm pretty optimistic for a girl that might be pregnant.
Don't date the locals. They're all tainted.
I just found a ladybug shell in my underwear. What was I doing last night?
Randomize
