sometimes i wish i had a whole other life to spend on youtube
why do all the strippers look like they came from fraggle rock
i just witnessed two asians having sex for the first time ten feet away from me..hes having a seizure..what the duck is going on???
They want to listen to Lady Gaga while they puke.
just found $310, wrapped in a rubber band, at the bottom of my sock drawer with a note attached stating, "Make it rain".
you kept telling her you'd make a great step-dad while cuddling her and rubbing her back...
I ate goldfish off your shoulder, I think we had bigger issues
The girls at the police department photocopied my drinking ticket and told me to frame it and hang it on my wall. Then they gave me a free muffin and told me to party smarter next time.
Am I allowed to be in denial about being gay again? Or is that one of those things you can't do?
He said, "cum on daddy's dick!" ... I pictured my dad. That just scarred me for life.
Oh I see how it is...you can snap chat the world your balls but I wear dinosaur feetie pajamas and I'm the "weird one"
You partied and then got cock slapped, Don't tell me you didn't have fun
Masturbating to death wouldn't be a terrible way to go. If you die tonight, I'll know how it went down. Promise not to tell your family.
is it weird that i just witnessed the marriage of someone ive had sex with on multiple occasions?
Idk, I know when I drink vodka my bi side comes out and I just want to make out with a girl
Randomize
