i'm pissing behind 7/11. if you guys leave... i'll think it's funny too
just cut a line with my blood donor card...i feel like it will help remind me that i was once a productive member of society.
just masturbated through my pocket at the library. hope you're enjoying your saturday night out.
Did you spray paint that captain morgan fifth that's in the freezer gold?
no i had to finish in the bathroom to a pic of her mom in a bikini.
oh my god, just saw a man throw up in a trashcan and blood came out of his nose. HES GETTING ON MY BUS. HES SITTING ACROSS FROM ME. FUCK.
I just woke up entirely naked on top of a pile of some guy's laundry on his bedroom floor.
I think my Halloween costume this year will be made entirely of pillows and I'll be Marshmellow girl or Kirby. That way I'm comfortable, warm, and if I fall over drunk I'm safe.
Someone downtown drunkenly stole the antenna off of her car... while she was driving.
look for me at the Giants game I will possibly be the drunk girl passed out by 2nd
You threw up with such class too! Tiara and all.
I'm nothing if not determined to sleep with everyone at that company
I could be the Kenny Powers of Sex Therapists.
He made me ask permission to to cum and it made me cum.
I'm sorry you had to knock him out on your birthday. But that also means I won the bet that you'd hit someone so you owe me 40. dollars
Randomize
