So today I found out that our school is known as the herpes school
rainy day on campus = new personal fetish for girls in booty shorts and colorful rain boots
Hands down, the girl passed out in the bathroom was the best looking. Concious or not.
He's prob getting laid right now and I'm sitting alone in my duct tape shoes.
i'm not sure when it happened but apparently now it's topless bar night, im wearing a leotard and everyone is looking at me like i'm cheating.
I feel like tequila heightens the sense of my nipples.
U asked everyone for their hoodies so u could "safely hug the cactus"
His little brother just walked in, asked me if I'd blown his brother yet and then announced that he and his friends were going to play outside so we could play too.
No, I am not setting up my roomba to clean up puke.
Saturday evening, however, will be my vodka and bubble wrap extravaganza.
I just want you and your enormous dick to be my fucking rebound so we can move on with our lives
Honestly I'm so excited to go to bed I feel as if I don't deserve to be in my early twenties.
I feel like a pile of chihuahua shit that got eaten by a Great Dane who puked it up and then set it on fire.
I fucking hate humanity. I met a twenty three year old adult with an aol email account today. I'm not sure how those things are related, but I'm sure they are.
YOU SHOULD HAVE BEEN THE FIRST VISITOR TO CHRISTMASLAND
Randomize
