Until that no good dick sucking whore stays away from my boyfriend I am gonna start blowing all of his friends...
I just saw a woman point to her daughter and scream at her husband THIS IS YOUR GENES, THIS IS YOU.
it'll be like the batcave but for manwhores
Did I ever tell u about how my buddy fucked peter coors's daughter and made a tshirt that said I TAPPED THE ROCKIES with her picture on it?
He sent me a pic of his Junk. He said it was a Brett Farve valentine.
If you try to operate on me with a Bic pen and vodka, I'm never talking to you again
ever have one of those nights where you feel like you should leave the house with your insurance card? that is tonight, my friend.
I will start puting down the plastic for the vom in our love chamber. If you want to be something or someone else for the night feel free. The theme is shit show.
I'm there.
I might have hooked up with a 2003 alumni last night in the basement
Dude you were ten when he graduated
Wahoowaaaaaaa
Right now he's sitting in the chair pointing to me to go away. He's trying to have quiet time with his penis.
I've made out with more people in 2014 than I did the whole fall semester
Thanks for the pic It's going to be lovely dealing with my boner while I'm in a meeting with your father.
Slammed 3 beers and just bowled a 129\nI guess alcohol IS the answer
it wasnt that bad
you tried to climb into my fireplace while screaming TO DIAGON ALLEY! we didnt even watch harry potter. it was bad
Oh yeah, nothing says welcome home like walking in on your parents having sex on your bed while the dog is watching, they told me to wait until they were done...
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