I would say the hottest chick there looked like Susan Boyle and the ugliest like Bea Arthur
Nice use of current day folklore
Dude, she DOES look like she'd give good head. No bottom jaw, I checked.
he just flicked a booger into my mouth and shouted "goaaaal!"
I swear my cock is like a magnet to my friends younger sisters mouths.
Can I get a DUI with a shopping cart? I've nearly hit 2 displays and little girl...
If you can't accept "I'm sorry I was mean to you" bjs from 19 year old girls, then who can you
my vagina has been out of service for wayy too long... this semester needs to start like right now
My drug dealer is making me hot tea during the snowstorm...I'm a fan.
So I just chugged the rest of the wine in my mug so I would have something to eat my corn flakes in. With a plastic fork. I need a dishwasher
And maybe a life coach?
Last night you told me to stop being Martha Stewart and asked if I had Taco Bell in my house
What's the procedure for answering a booty call from someone under house arrest?
I'm taking a shit break of discontent as a personal protest
I am thinking about buying a decorative chest for all our sex stuff....
Give me like 5, I have to feed a moose and find my pants.
We hotboxed his bathroom. going to be a good night
Hotbox went wrong - smoke sets off fire alarm. Firefighters coming
Randomize
