how the fuck did you end up in georgia? you were here at my party dry humping some chick 2 hours ago
so you mean to tell me that there is no way you can get me?
so for future reference,at what point did you feel like a line had been crossed?
Sarah Palin just got hired for Fox News. Watch out Jersey Shore... there's a new drinking game in town
I woke up to my dog trying to clean my vagina.
My hanfda are one with the u niverse and I am cirretnly inhaling a couch
This weekend has taught me that sometimes, being buried under a mattress is the safest place in the room.
Remember when there was a happier time when people could all hang out together with out the awkwardness of the fact that she stole $1000 and cheated on a brother with another brother !?!??
I want you to read this conversation tomorrow and be proud of the fact that you taught me how to decipher any drunk message. Good job.
So I've been thinking about this, and I've decided my bed is magic. Every time I change the sheets, a new boy is in my bed. I own the Sheets of Dreams-if I change them, they will come.
Just copped mushrooms from a dude in a business suit. U comin or what?
You have to start asking people if they're gay before you kiss them..
I AM A HOUSE CAT. I CANNOT DO THIS LION BUSINESS WE CALL THE SINGLE LIFE
Dude I just saw a beer truck w taps in the side... It's like god heard my prayers and sent me a gift from heaven
His roommate walked in then asked "well did you at least finish". What a way to start your birthday
I watched a compilation video today of a guy banging his sex doll to edm music. I just had to tell someone.
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