My whole home page is your drunken face booking, congrats.
Omg. If Ina Garten Makes roast chicken one more time im going to strangle her with her white button down
Having an 'SDSU Mom' sticker is just like say 'Hi, my daughter has an std"
she's in the bathroom. spitting in the trashcan. not throwing up. just spitting and singing bad romance by lady gaga.
thatta girl
my mom just texted me to let me know that Hooters is hiring
i wish my mom had big dreams like that for me
then again I'm sitting on a tree stump completely naked in the dark listening to some type of glee soundtrack.
You know who really doesn't like surpise in-your-face air guitar solos? Strangers.
I have no idea what happened after 2 AM. I woke up on my bike, in my bed, with a deep thigh bruise.
Hypothetically speaking, what is the proper response if one gets bitten by a most likely not rabid squirrel? Hypothetically.
I won't apologize to a one balled man
Then that means he's outwardly conservative. Inwardly he's a total gay horndog. He's like a spy that can ruin conservative plans.
I want to change all my life goals to that.
So really what you're asking for is an allowance to not have sex on our futon.
My eye was non-stop itchy for like an hour... I thought burying my face in your ass caught up with me
That butt dial turned into a booty call.
Vulcans are sexy now IT HAS BEEN WAY TOO LONG SINCE I'VE GOTTEN LAID
Randomize
