I hooked up with a Michael Jackson impersonator last night. Too soon?
do you think my med school application would be worse off if "I like helping others and shit" slipped into an essay I emailed last night?
I just gift wrapped bread.
I told him that all frat guys do it... it was that easy to get him to go down on me.
i secretly love the power trip of being their RA & busting these idiots for everything i did as a freshman
He honestly told me my belt was "supercute" when we started hooking up. I would be the girl to find the only straight man in the world that uses the word "supercute".
Just finished putting caution tape around the tv. Sober me needs to prepare.
Well still if someone cared enough about u to wish an unwanted child or a disease on u ..u must have been doing something right
Got him to take a shot from the drip pan on the George Forman. He's gone now.
All I wanted was a hug. You dirty, dirty whore.
The plane down was full of newly weds and I counted 5 pairs of mile high club members. Actually, one might have been a group membership discount.
....she made me stop for like 3 minutes so she could talk to her cat....
My roommate randomally bought me two bags of pretzels. Worst "Sorry you can hear me fucking my boyfriend everynight" gift ever.
Nothing much. Just taking shots of tequila before I go get a bikkini wax. You?
I don't wanna be 33 that's when Jesus died
Randomize
