So I fucked an Aussie broad with huge feeders last nite 2x... Before banging her she was blowin me & I thought: "SHE IS GOIN DOWN-UNDER ON ME". Laughed out loud
god I hate her. why can't she just fuck and leave like a normal slut.
he had more hair on his balls then in my Easter basket
Just gave advice in krystal burger while holding and pointing with a corona to a 3 year old, told her to enjoy her stroller time while it lasts. The mom pushed her away fast.
Pillow talk just revealed that he originally thought I was 16.
I have glow sticks stuck to my boobs and a missed call from the 911. I'd say last night was a success.
PRINCE HARRY WAS AT WAL MART SO NEXT TIME YOU BITCH ABOUT GOING TO WAL MART REMEMBER THAT EVEN PRINCE HARRY GOES TO WAL MART.
we are all four or five tequila-induced decisions away from shitting in a bucket, come get me please.
I apologize for violently hooking up with her in front of you in the jacuzzi last night.
I just sat in the bathtub with the shower running so I could eat the whole box of mega stuffed Oreos. What am I doing with my life
fucked a girl in Bentley hall at ten tonight, came on the carpet and I plan on doing it in another building soon. Watch where you walk
I'm discussing Magic Mike with my mom and totally get why she thinks I'm gay.
Pretty sure we had a civil war reenactment in your kitchen at 4am.
That would explain the cannon.
I think I broke my toilet with my head. There are ceramic pieces everywhere. and I might still be drunk.
She was drunk, dancing on the table. Until the table leg completely broke off and she fell on the ground and broke her front tooth straight off. Worse news is there making her pay for the table
Randomize
