When I saw him standing at full height, I realized exactly how much his body structure reminds me of his penis.
You even been so high breaking up weed with your fingers feels like surgery?
i wiped a booger on my final. end of semester present.
Not complaining, but why is there a Russian chick downstairs making latkes?
After 12 shots he decided to show us knife tricks. You can figure out how it ended
i'm out of college. that means no more sex on a twin bed. ever. i don't care how big his dick was. i'm classy like that.
The only way I could get him to agree to hook up with her is telling him I'd hook up with him next week.
that wasn't rum that I poured down your throat while you were sleeping
3 things. 1) we need alcohol 2) we need alcohol 3) we need tortilla chips. Let's make a plan. Bro shakes and salsa.
Is putting "Tonight I'm Fucking You" on my date playlist too forward?
The blow job award ceremony was a little much. You guys didn't need to call out what happened the night before.
What? How can you say that? You won!
We set around a table in a hotel room and he spoon fed Molly to everyone there... I felt sketch for sec but then... Oh well.
In the middle of pounding my asshole he stopped and said, "do you want to get breakfast after this?"
As he put it in he shouted "geronimo!"
Wow... So was the sex good?
Yeah but it doesn't matter. My vagina is not a pool.
The cop told you he couldn't let you pee. You just pulled your pants down and squared anyway and im surprised you didnt get arrested.No more drinking for you.
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