i can't help myself.. i am just so in love with the kitchen manager.
...he was wearing JNCO shorts.. i'm pretty sure i saw the dragon.
I recorded his drunk dial calls. My personal favorite was the one that began, "grab the bull by the horns and fuck his cock."
he borrowed my computer and saw his name in my recent google searches. Things got awkward real fast.
my cabbie only has one arm...this can't be safe
New plan: we get a little bit drunk and go to 24 hour fitness and be eachothers wing people so we can hit on in shape hot people at a gym instead of drunk idiots at a bar.
She looked at it and said "your dick is like the golden gate bridge."
I left two shots of jager for you guys when you wake up from your death. Do with it as you wish
Drunk you is everything I aspire to be in life.
Tough to say exactly how to play this. I just know people don't like surprises when genitals are involved.
I would convert to being a Republican and Mormon just to sleep with Romney's sons. The things I would to do them.
He told me that if I were a guy he'd go gay for me. Honestly don't know how to take that.
After sex he cried I didn't know what to do so I patted him on the back and went to the kitchen to make waffles
I was so high I started singing Let It Go and then instantly started laughing 'cause I was eating ice. Everyone just stared.
No fair. I need a fuck buddy to entertain me till the power comes back on
WHY DID YOU NOT OFFER TO LET HIM STAY
Dude, it's like you want him inside me more than i do
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