I would kick you in the vagina but I'm afraid I would lose my shoe.
I dont know if he should be happy or mad about it but he's too big for a blow job.
Of course he wants me there for his birthday. If a girl offers you a blowjob for every year of your life, you're gonna want her to be there.
Omg. One night stands are not supposed to show up to your swim class the morning after. Worst lesson ever.
so apparently going to a christian rock concert dressed as Jesus is horribly inappropriate.
It got messy; I did a shot of seamonkeys.
I'm not saying Tijuana was a bad idea, I'm saying that we make poor life choices. And Steve was robbed by the police.
The bouncer was just about to kick Sarah out for getting with this guy 'too physically'. I told him that was 'her style' and he let them stay. Banter.
You said you were uncomfortable with your body and then you started making whale noises
My goal for the weekend: procure a blowjob using only stern glances, hand gestures, and crudely-drawn stick figures.
just had sex in my dorm hall public bathroom while wearing my favorite cat sweater. tonight was a win
My one night stand just messaged me and said he is praying for me...
You know you need to get it together when a frat guy wakes you up and says you need to go to class
Getting a lap dance from a girl you went to high school with really isn't as awkward as you'd think
And she called me out by name, nothing could have made it more awkward but it ended up not being that bad
Seriously, I really just burned my nipple making ravioli.. I'd explain, but no reasoning makes this acceptable:/
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