I may or may not have started my period at the bar. Good thing I have dark jeans on.
you know i think I know why you are single...because you are real cute but then you open your mouth and let words come out and all goes to hell.
you're bored at work aren't you?
I'm toying with the idea of beating off under my desk
My bosses just told me they met their wives on one night stands. I'm stoked.
He came in, laid on our floor and started to make a snow angel.. On the floor. Then he just left never said a word. 20 mins later walked back in and dropped his pants, looked down and said "wow im happy i had boxers on."
... there are chew marks on my license. I have no idea.
Had a dream I beat up niall then madeout with him while snorting coke out of a dragons egg
I will no longer accept nudes from you because I met your boyfriend last night and he seems like a nice guy
He played with my boobs the whole time we watched Scott Pilgrim and then started invited others to play with them too. It reminded me of how my mom gives out my french fries without asking.
Aw don't be embarrassed. It was all good fun! We've all been there. You can't come to vegas and NOT get a little alcohol poisoning. That's like going to church and not praying.
Whenever I'm hungover I try to stay in public as much as possible, hoping to be a cautionary tale to children. It's a public service, really.
I would have publicly shamed him but I'm pretty sure his tramp stamp did that on its own...
Yeah but sometimes your vagina needs to be fed and when we are drunk we tend to eat junk food
I need to hurry up and get over my feelings for him so next year's tipsy reunion sex won't be clouded by emotions.
The high school classes are online, not my sex life. He still comes over for “teacher / parent conferences.” A couple more “conferences” and I’ll be able to rewrite the Sex Ed curriculum
Randomize
