capt morgan doesn't hurt if you honestly believe it's golden flavored kool-aid.
so my dad walked in on us having sex
lulz really? why?
lets just say he wont be answering to 'daddy' for a loooooong time
This glow in the dark vibrator will get me through this power outage
this kid woke up on our hotel floor and doesnt know how he got here
on my way back.. me and that kid will be great friends
"thanks for the sex" was written in lipstick on my bathroom mirror. i'm officially done with random hook ups.
would it be completely unacceptable to smoke a cig outside naked? im already doing it so what you say doesn't matter.
I dont know if this is a good time to tell you but im actually a freshman.. not a senior
Some guy walked in while I was taking a piss and asked me if I knew of a back way out of the bar. He looked pretty freaked out.
You're only allowed to hookup with one freshman a semester. MAKE IT COUNT.
Is she still in your room?
Not for long. My plan is to smoke her out like a small woodland creature.
Dude. I've never been with a guy who just wanted to go down on me all the time including while I'm shooting zombies on call of duty. My life is complete.
I don't understand why you aren't on this trip all I do is smoke weed drink beer and get fingered
There's lube and condom packets all over the street we missed something awesome.
Like seriously how stupid drunk do you have to get befor you start finding dolphin lighters and shit in your undergarments
His abs are so defined he looks like a human xylophone.
Randomize
