do all gilrs hav hair on thier vagaina ?
Don't drive home.
you woke up, pulled a beer bottle out of your pants..took a drink and went back to sleep.
Lauren will drop me off I'll be drunk ride you for a little bit and then you can go to sleep
sorry. that wasn't for you
So not only just find my adoption papers that I didnt know about in my parents house, but they say "child shows some signs of mental retardation".
You just kept screaming "You are no House!!!" at the ER doc trying to stitch your head
Hooked up with an Aussie chick last night only an Indonesian chick away from completing my lap around the pacific rim
Come get her ASAP. She's "people bowling," which is just her rolling into random groups of people. People look pissed.
Hahahaaa There's this one girl crying hysterically and wrapped around (i believe) her ex's leg. He's trying to shake her off without spilling his beer. This is fucking priceless.
Did copperhead road at the bar. All the girl next to me did was stare at my glorious bouncing tits. CAN I FUCKING HELP YOU?? I worked hard for these tits.
Ok. I'll enjoy the quiet (translation: I might be naked, call ahead if you come home tonight)
If a raisin and a desert had a bastard child that would be the inside of my mouth right now
For dinner, I'm having saltines, canned whipped cream, and beer. Are we sure I'm responsible enough for home ownership?
I licked your asshole in confidence.
I now know he's been cheating for a while. I also know HER name, address, phone number, Facebook account, religion and zodiac sign. I feel like I'm earning my restraining order. Point is, never fuck over a librarian.
Rarely does a man I fucked with upgrade from me
Randomize
