yeah she is the one who tells people i beat girls.. which ironically make me want to punch her in the face
she said i was amazing, then i left to room to take the rubber off and came back to find her masturbating with my xbox controller while niko got a call from roman.
How many folks do you know who bring coke to a dinner party. Seriously.
You swear the intervention is for her? I've fallen for that one twice.
Come on, without my personality, I'm a pretty good one night stand.
Cracked my iPhone screen. Real bad. Girl from last night isn't ugly yet. Stop me if you still think she belongs under a bridge. You have 12 seconds.
they superglued a cigarette to my fingers...i think I need to quit smoking.
I also witnessed that same parrot perched on the head of a man grinding with a girl.
Interesting. As a girl I don't know how okay I would be with that.
She seemed pretty into it.
this probably sounds so sketchy, but hes going to jail in a month so he needs a place to crash for now. Hes sick though, and hes paying half our rent
Shouting "one vagina to rule them all" was probably not the best way to meet our best mates fiance
Right now, there's some ten year old kid getting ready to go outside and play basketball. He will soon find out his basketball hoop was no match for my car.
Swish.
I really have a thing for Greek chicks; I feel like while we are having sex she has the ability to make hummus which is just too appealing for me to pass up.
Going to the bathroom drunk while wearing overalls is such a struggle
I'm too high and old for this...
Definitely ended up doing Coke with Chewbacca in the porta potty behind the haunted house.
Randomize
