I'm waiting for seagulls to eat this throw up
You flung your panties at that guy you liked with an accuracy that I have never seen before.
u downloaded tardy 4 the party
then u started screaming about not wanting nene on the record
btw, her name was actually Alixx. in retrospect, it was pretty much a gimme
Leaving the dealer's house. He just gave me a sincere hug and said good luck. This cant end well.
Just because you were able to pour the entire bottle of wine into 2 glasses does not mean you took it easy last night.
She dropped a weight class after every shot I took. I thought I was just drink something magical.
I feel like a fucked a broomstick last night. You get a gold star.
We are probably going to have to use your boobs as currency to get this done
I have fruit by the foot roll-ups. I wonder if a man could tie them together and make an editable bra....
I just got a reminder alert on my phone for an event I titled "Bradley getting stupid high with me in bed." I assume we planned this during the party. I'm down if you are.
There is a chick wearing some guy's shirt wrapped around her waist as a skirt... She's flashing her panties to everyone as she sings karaoke. You need to get here.
What's the best day of the week to potentially find out you're pregnant with your ex's baby?
Of course that's what I'm wearing. I need to find a beard to mount and ride STAT.
all i want is a guy to go down on me while i eat peanutbutter from a jar
Randomize
