wait, do i give off the impression that i DON'T want girls to show me their boobs if i video chat with them?
the girl sitting next to me in class is using her birth control box as a ruler
It was like a secret agent hookup. No names, swift execution, get in- get out.
all he has to do is look at me on new years and hes getting laid. thats how hot he is
This might sound awkward, but can I borrow a dildo for class?
Its a good night to get drunk in my onesie.
So high I started crying because I was proud of Snoop Dogg for becoming Snoop Lion
i woke up and found a picture of his grandma in my purse.. im a kelpto
So our annual Dick Trip has been tentatively scheduled for the week of July 1 - 5. This years theme is "Fucking for Freedom".
I'm just trying my hardest not to get addicted to drugs or pregnant and all your other friends are out there getting married
Is this really the life I've chosen for myself?
I know, dude. If he ends up having a tiny dick, I will literally pack it back into his pants and leave. Not worth the aggravation.
Dude, she had a pound of gunpowder in her closet. I for sure got a fear boner.
You fist bumped my dick last night saying good game. That you'll be back for the 2nd game...
I just remembered how you stole the slinky from me. Bitch, I will NEVER forgive you.
Randomize
