physics? naw man, teacher told us it was casual friday, so i decided to be super casual and not go.
My Higher Power is John Stamos
Of course im so fucked up sarah. I fight away tornadoes.
Yet again my drunken self has managed to find his way into the middle of nowhere with no shoes or recollection of what happened last night.
Then I guess you don't remember me driving you there after you tried making out with my girlfriend, dipshit.
and then you made a playlist that was just "party in the usa" on repeat...
you busted in the room, ripped the covers off of us, ... and fist pumped
I can't wait until weight watchers comes out with a beer
4 random people called me telling me they found him sleeping in the fetal postion on a driveway 45 minutes after we lost him
Give me one reason I shouldn't put the phrase "sex emotions" into my essay.
No.
I know how I'm going to make my fortune.. designing an icepack made specifically for the vagina.
I just ordered 30 klonopins from India that could probably be anything from Viagra to Midol. You need to find another friend to get advice from right now
I just realized in a weird reversed way I hustled a stripper last night
WHY DID YOU DRUNK DIAL MY MOM?!
Because mine was sitting on the bar stool next to me...
He said he loved me more than Kel loves orange soda
the result of growing up in the '90's
I just saw your mom take a body shot off an undergrad, please tell me you're somewhere near by.
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